2012 – Listening to my heart

Photo credit: Kitaro10

2012 seemed to be a slow and fast year. If I plot my emotions in a chart it would look like a volatile stock market, with a lot of unpredictable fluctuations and vigorous changes. To put it positively, it helped me better understand myself and I had the opportunity to get in touch with my feelings and listen to my heart. It’s amazing and I feel I like myself better now.

I realised I was living 2010-2011 too hectically and didn’t really stop to smell the roses. I was so tense and time flew, I barely listened to anything I wanted to tell myself. (wow school what have you done to me?)

And here’s a mini revelation from last week: All these years, I never really enjoyed celebrating my birthday, thinking it was “just another day”. As I was going through my old photos in my HDD, I saw pictures of my birthday celebration in ’06, ’08, ’09 and I thought to myself, “What happened during the other ones?”

Couldn’t remember anything about them. No pictures = no remembrance of what happened. It’s only once a year. We may not have that many years, even if we think we do. Remember that cliche ‘life is fragile’ saying – we never know when our last birthday celebration might be. Reminds me of how in HIMYM this episode where Marshall kept wanting to confirm the last words his dad said to him. He couldn’t remember it, and it was probably something lame anyway and not beautiful like those in dramas where the actor says something touching, a tear falls from the corner of his eye and his breath stops when he finishes his sentence.

Moral of the story: Marvin says I’m getting old. but no, really. I say, take more photos. Create more beautiful moments. Treasure all the happy memories. (Maybe use LoveByte while you’re at it)

…. and here’s a collection of my truest thoughts for the year.

Someone who loves you would respect your relationship with other people important to you.

Don’t make decisions thinking that life will remain the same, because things change, all.the.time. Haven’t we heard this enough already: Change is the only constant. Just because you can’t imagine things happening differently, it doesn’t mean it won’t happen.

Nothing is more cruel than time. It’s true, time heals all wounds. Your heart will get over it.

Don’t be afraid to walk away from relationships that drain your energy. It’s not worth the fight. Be thankful for the good memories and move on so you can be happier in the long run. Spend time with company you enjoy and keep them close. They are the ones who shape who you are.

I realise I don’t have much trust issues, starting to wonder if it’s something to be worried about.  This whole thing about true friends, I’m not sure whether it matters. I don’t have a best friend and that’s perfectly okay, because I have too many good friends.

The heart works in mysterious ways. You can’t control your own heart. Let alone somebody else’s. Getting hurt is inevitable, and you would probably have hurt someone unintentionally too. Forgive anyway. (also partly I’m too nonchalent about most things.)

Deep down, every single human desires to be loved. Show appreciation to your loved ones more often. Let them know how special they are to you (even if they find it mushy).

Then again, be selfish. There’s no one more important to you than yourself. Because if you don’t take charge of your life, no one else will.

Do what makes you happy, regardless of what others think. They may be upset at you, but they’ll forgive. People who matter don’t mind, and people who mind don’t matter.

What matters to you may be nothing to another person. The same thing you are looking at is perceived differently by another person. What you feel about another person may not always be reciprocated. You enjoy each other’s company for different reasons. That’s what makes human interaction so fun, so complex yet so confusing at the same time.

Random: Westlife’s “My Love” still gives me a fuzzy feeling whenever I listen to it.

And as I’ll end this post with a thought that I typed on Facebook one random night, that many of my friends liked:

No one is born a complete person. You live your life learning and become more complete as you get older. All sorts of things happen. This journey called life is all about experiences.. it’s the sum of all the laughter, happy moments and triumphs, dark periods, bad decisions and losses that makes you you and nobody can take that away.

Don’t be so hard on yourself because everything will turn out to be okay. You are the most important thing in your world so love yourself, live in the present and appreciate how amazing it is to be alive and breathing.

2013 looks like a really exciting year ahead, filled with even more adventures, experiences and learning. Every year is always my best year yet. Hope it is the same for you.

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