“I’ve the rest of my life to be an employee.”
That was what I would reply when people questioned me about not getting a job immediately after graduation.
That was what kept me going.
I won’t deny that I could be selfish here. No matter how much support I receive, how much encouragement I get from people around me, it hasn’t been an easy period. Subconsciously, I was always at war with myself.
I had disliked the fact that my savings were depleting and not increasing; especially when I already had some liabilities to account for monthly, the numbers dropped significantly at a much quicker pace. I am thankful I did not have to resort to sleeping on the streets or worry about my next meals because I have a supportive family… It is also because of this reason I feel guilty for not contributing to the household.
My dad is near 70 but still not retired. If I hadn’t been doing what I am now, he might have one less reason to have to work. Unlike most kids whose school fees need not be repaid, I want to return my parents the money they have paid for my education – I have cleared 13k of it but because of my current situation, I halted the payment. I’m frustrated because I can not do the things I used to do. I know I can’t focus because at the back of my mind, because I know I have to worry about money every night.
There is no wondering how life would turn out if we had picked another route. Life is too short for that. Life’s also too short to whine so instead of sulking, I am doing something to solve my financial problems.
You could be right that there are a million ways to make money without being an employee… does it mean I’m giving up on what I’m doing? No.